Still Enough

The Magic Garden in Coos Bay, Oregon: August 2023

Dearest Friend,

Sometimes when you are still enough 
for long enough, 
the spiders either forget you’re there 
or generously open the doors into their secret places and
 offer a sacred peek into the truth beneath the truth.

Don’t believe me?
Be still enough.

Early one morning last summer,
Coos Bay, Oregon, 
alone in a magic garden, at the edge of my eyes
I saw a daredevil spider
leap from banyan tree leaf,
free fall (outside of time),
then catch herself with the rope she had tied around her waist 
just before she would have been broken to bits by the rocks. 

I stilled my breath enough to watch 
her pull herself up,
rest for a moment, and
do it over
and over
and over
again. 

Adrenaline junkie. 

I remember wondering what her surrendering did to her heart rate.
I remember knowing, "heart rate" means nothing to her.

Most mornings, I wonder if 
the reward for walking with God -  
rather than wealth or health or justice or knowing
 -  or even the promise of someday heaven - 
is the privilege of walking simply and peacefully with God 
- as he nods occasionally to his creation.

I dare you to imagine something better, today or ever, than
walking simply and peacefully with God
- as he nods occasionally to his creation.

I cannot. 
And I know I am still enough,
When I surrender.