Thirst - An Apology. A Revision
Dear Friend,
After I posted yesterday, another friend responded with a heartfelt comment. This is an excerpt of his reply:
…There is a line or two that jumps out at me. (Many more, to be honest). Here is one in particular, “ After all, I am convinced that anybody who claims to have 100% empirical proof that God is - is 100% lying.”
Perhaps my simple mind misses the point, but after giving this more thought, I have to conclude that I best fit into the “lying” category.
Despite multiple lost bouts of emotional emptiness and self doubt, I believe that I have empirical proof that “God is” every day.
Do I question it? Yes
Do I deny it? Yes
Am I oblivious to it? Most of the time.
But if I am lucky, a glimmer of proof sobers me into unquestionable understanding.
And this is my response to him:
Dear Friend,
I'm coming to you in gratitude, and seeking forgiveness.
In gratitude for your reply. My guess is you said the quiet thing out loud, and spoke for others who were also understandably offended. I'm so grateful for you for trusting the voice that urged you to respond. So grateful.
Seeking forgiveness for my offensive words. My words were completely wrong and inappropriate, and I'm sorry. Deeply sorry. Especially for any suggestion that I believe your "simple mind misses the point." You are anything but simple.
I won't try to explain my words away. But I will post a revision soon. And a more general apology to those I may have offended.
Thank you again.
I love you, brother.
C
So I wanted to reach out to you, and to everyone who is so selflessly walking and wondering with me. I’m truly and deeply sorry for the suggestion that you are being deceitful in claiming proof for God. I hope that you can forgive me for my hurtful words. I’m sorry.
Below you will find the portion of the post to which he was referring, followed by revision.
Oremus,
C
What I said:
“You might say that belief in God is just another blue pill - self delusion in the extreme, and you would not be the first, and maybe you’d be right. After all, I am convinced that anybody who claims to have 100% empirical proof that God is - is 100% lying. I am convinced there is an uncertainty gap that must be filled by the grace of faith. Is the grace of faith just a nicer, churchier way of saying magical thinking? Maybe, but I don’t think so. There seems to be enough evidence (not proof) that God is. (To be clear: The evidence to which I am referring looks nothing like Christian apologetics.) Perhaps there is not enough evidence for you, and there is certainly not enough to tip me over into absolute intellectual consent, or to claim that I know. I do not know, and certainly not enough that I would dare to try to convince you. (That work that is way, way above my paygrade.) The evidence I am talking about are hints and suggestions nearly everywhere I turn that allow me to believe, to give my heart to, the truth of God’s is-ness.”
Revised:
“You might say that belief in God is just another blue pill - self delusion in the extreme, and you would not be the first. Maybe you’d be right. After all, some people insist on formal proofs as the gold standard of belief, and it’s all but impossible for me to wrap my head around the idea of a formal “proof of God.” So if that is your standard, then I understand why you might think I have simply moved onto another blue pill. But that is not my standard. While I am convinced there is overwhelming evidence of God’s is-ness, I’m also convinced there must be room for something far more compelling than proof. There must be room for faith.
Is faith just a nicer, churchier way of saying magical thinking? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Perhaps there is not enough evidence for you, and I would not dare to try to convince you. That work is above my pay grade. But there is enough evidence for me in the hints and suggestions nearly everywhere I turn that allow me to believe, to give my full heart to, the truth of God’s is-ness.”