Bucket lists have always felt a bit shallow to me, though they have a hint of something worth deeper thought. As you have said, lists and boards create subtle stress and striving. What feels good and right is dreaming. Dreaming imagines what could be without constraints and without the pressure to realize the dreams. I dream of being deeply content. I dream of being safe, accepted, loved to the extent that I could be naked and not ashamed. I dream of giving those I love that kind of space. I dream of not looking forward to … I dream of resting. I think as I age that I feel closer to that dream and yet realize as I age how far away it is.
And I will be thinking about your lovely dream "of not looking forward to and resting" for a while...Yes. To me that sounds like complete contentment and maybe even trustful surrender,, which seems to be foundation of upon which "home" is built for a lot of people. Myself included.
Chris, As I read this post, it awakened some of my own thoughts this decade of life has ushered in, the bucket list seems to fade as relationships end, and joints aren't as strong, finances aren't what I thought they would be. And honestly I have been challenged as to where I really put my hope. Is it really in the finished work of Christ ? And with this thought the following movie clip from Lord of the Rings came to mind (below).
And one day my friend He will make all things new!
Thank you for this Margaret. Your words "ring" (SWIDT?) so true to me, and watching this little clip pulled my heart right out of my chest.
Even before your comment, I found myself drawn to this film, but it was more a reflection of my having watched it years ago, and vaguely remembering Tolkein's account all creatures (trees, rocks, animals) coming together in unbound friendship and love.
So last night, when we turned it on, I was immediately captured by this:
"And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge.”
I am feeling myself drawn to old History and Legend and the things we now call Myth and longing to discern the underlying Truths imbedded in them. Sometimes I wonder if what we label and discard as "new Christianity" is far older than we are willing or able to perceive, and I wonder sometimes if the coming awakening will look nothing like what our hyper-rationalized selves think it will look, sound nothing like we imagine it will sound.
And wondering if there are hints are in the things we discard as "Legend" and "Myth." Wondering if our spiritual imaginations been soaked and blunted by a culture that idolizes objectivity and rationalism over Truth, and maybe even conflated them.
I'll take Truth and spiritual imagination, and hold it as loosely as Christ, in whom alone my trust rests, allows.
Wow! So much to think about here. But you're right, Chris. Nothing in this broken world can compare to the shalom we will experience when we are finally "home". And while I know this is true, I am still so caught up in the things of the here and now.
Thank you for so eloquently sharing your heart. I'm going to need to read this one again.
Beautiful musings, Chris. Very Augustinian in the way you blend reflections on home with pilgrim wonderings and wanderings through nature. Thinking and praying for you and finding great inspiration from you and your writings.
I still get caught in the trap of “wishing I would’ve when I could’ve “ still trying to gently let go of those experiences and live for what’s next. With God there’s always a better next. I find hope in that… on my better days.
And I deeply appreciated your comment last night, that the real tragedy is not in not having done something, but in the lament of not having done something.
I wonder if this particular scent of lament blinds us to the joy we might have found there (and still might, perhaps?) I think you're describing how we assign expectations to our past, which feels even more dangerous than walking into the future with expectations.
Yes and I pondered it further after I left last night.. it really comes down to “help my unbelief”. I’ve struggled to understand that. But if I truly believe all the promises of the Bible, saying I “wish I would have” is like saying I wish I would have rode my tricycle more as a toddler” when now I have a full suspension mountain bike and a grown-up body to ride it. And not even in the next world. Right now. Even in my broken and disappointing body. “Help my unbelief”
Bucket lists have always felt a bit shallow to me, though they have a hint of something worth deeper thought. As you have said, lists and boards create subtle stress and striving. What feels good and right is dreaming. Dreaming imagines what could be without constraints and without the pressure to realize the dreams. I dream of being deeply content. I dream of being safe, accepted, loved to the extent that I could be naked and not ashamed. I dream of giving those I love that kind of space. I dream of not looking forward to … I dream of resting. I think as I age that I feel closer to that dream and yet realize as I age how far away it is.
I will be thinking about this post for awhile.
Blessings and prayers! Tommy
Tommy,
And I will be thinking about your lovely dream "of not looking forward to and resting" for a while...Yes. To me that sounds like complete contentment and maybe even trustful surrender,, which seems to be foundation of upon which "home" is built for a lot of people. Myself included.
Thank you for taking the time to respond,
In Christ's Love,
Chris
Chris, As I read this post, it awakened some of my own thoughts this decade of life has ushered in, the bucket list seems to fade as relationships end, and joints aren't as strong, finances aren't what I thought they would be. And honestly I have been challenged as to where I really put my hope. Is it really in the finished work of Christ ? And with this thought the following movie clip from Lord of the Rings came to mind (below).
And one day my friend He will make all things new!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgtMW38vsUs
Thank you for this Margaret. Your words "ring" (SWIDT?) so true to me, and watching this little clip pulled my heart right out of my chest.
Even before your comment, I found myself drawn to this film, but it was more a reflection of my having watched it years ago, and vaguely remembering Tolkein's account all creatures (trees, rocks, animals) coming together in unbound friendship and love.
So last night, when we turned it on, I was immediately captured by this:
"And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge.”
I am feeling myself drawn to old History and Legend and the things we now call Myth and longing to discern the underlying Truths imbedded in them. Sometimes I wonder if what we label and discard as "new Christianity" is far older than we are willing or able to perceive, and I wonder sometimes if the coming awakening will look nothing like what our hyper-rationalized selves think it will look, sound nothing like we imagine it will sound.
And wondering if there are hints are in the things we discard as "Legend" and "Myth." Wondering if our spiritual imaginations been soaked and blunted by a culture that idolizes objectivity and rationalism over Truth, and maybe even conflated them.
I'll take Truth and spiritual imagination, and hold it as loosely as Christ, in whom alone my trust rests, allows.
Thank you for your comments. So meaningful to me.
Chris
Wow! So much to think about here. But you're right, Chris. Nothing in this broken world can compare to the shalom we will experience when we are finally "home". And while I know this is true, I am still so caught up in the things of the here and now.
Thank you for so eloquently sharing your heart. I'm going to need to read this one again.
Beautiful musings, Chris. Very Augustinian in the way you blend reflections on home with pilgrim wonderings and wanderings through nature. Thinking and praying for you and finding great inspiration from you and your writings.
John,
Been too long...so good to hear from you, and your words are so deeply encouraging.
Let's connect soon!
Chris
I still get caught in the trap of “wishing I would’ve when I could’ve “ still trying to gently let go of those experiences and live for what’s next. With God there’s always a better next. I find hope in that… on my better days.
Don't we all. It's real, isn't it?
And I deeply appreciated your comment last night, that the real tragedy is not in not having done something, but in the lament of not having done something.
I wonder if this particular scent of lament blinds us to the joy we might have found there (and still might, perhaps?) I think you're describing how we assign expectations to our past, which feels even more dangerous than walking into the future with expectations.
So appreciate your comments.
Thank you,
Chris
Yes and I pondered it further after I left last night.. it really comes down to “help my unbelief”. I’ve struggled to understand that. But if I truly believe all the promises of the Bible, saying I “wish I would have” is like saying I wish I would have rode my tricycle more as a toddler” when now I have a full suspension mountain bike and a grown-up body to ride it. And not even in the next world. Right now. Even in my broken and disappointing body. “Help my unbelief”