Chris- I would suggest a lot of what you are writing is discernment. For me, discernment is an ongoing process to understand if the internal dialogue is ego or Spirit. The good stuff doesn't' come from ego and the bad stuff doesn't come from Spirit. Sometimes, God stealthily shores us up in our greatest challenges, circumventing our self-will unbeknownst to us.
My experience of this was some 5 years ago. My daughter Bridget was in the hospital with an undiagnosed illness. I was driving to the hospital when I got a call from my son-in-law telling me to call when I was coming up to her room.
When he greeted me at the elevator with the doctor, I knew instinctively this was not good. They proceeded to tell me Bridget had pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to the liver. Somewhere in there came the word " terminal"! Since we had been at this for some time, I knew exactly what this meant and as I internalize this information, I waited for the panic to set in.
Guess what, it never did. And for the 4.5 years following it never did. I felt peace and had a strength I know was not my own that enabled me to serve my daughter and family unselfishly for the next number of years when Bridget lost her battle with cancer. That is an allowing and loving God, who doesn't control the world and deny our freewill, but helps us in our challenges, sometimes, fortunately, without our permission.
The last line was a lovely jolt. I've been thinking about this a lot recently: That God doesn't really wait for our permission to lavish love on us. This is a relatively new thought.
I had come to believe that God has a huge feast planned for me - a well-set table with fresh cut flowers, course after course of meats and vegetables expertly prepared by Dominique Crenn, fresh crusty bread with butter and jams, and the most lavish, colorful fruits you can imagine. Like oranges flown in all the way from China each day.
In my old belief, these feasts went mostly to waste because I didn't show up. But here is what I believe now.
People show up and eat these feasts, every single night, whether I am there or I am not. And what is left over is carefully and beautifully boxed up in containers that somehow keep the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold and everything as fresh as it was when it was left the kitchen. The flowers are carefully rearranged and, along with the food, delivered to my door with no claim of responsibility. Just an unspeakably beautiful anonymous gift I never asked for. But it arrives nonetheless. Every single day. Whether I let it sit on the porch too long, or carelessly throw it away because I don't think I like carrots. It doesn't matter. The meals just keep showing up.
And on the days I sit down and eat these delicate, expertly prepared feasts in my little kitchen, I am still missing the best part: The company of the host.
While that part is on me, the host doesn't seem all that bothered. He remains ever faithful to deliver, whether I ask or not. Whether I grant permission or I do not. The host's generosity and magnanimity hasn't a thing to do with me.
Oh, how I love your words and turn of a phrase, but I really love the cool, clear water of this post. And, of course, I love our sweet curly, clumsy, regal Carley! 💙
Chris - I just loved every word of this. It’s all so simple and yet so difficult for us! Yes to just staying on task - we are beloved and responding accordingly will lead to a peace, joy, and freedom.
I found myself smiling and then smiling more as I continued to read. This drew me in deeply. And I believe with all of heart that God feels the same way.
Appreciate these thoughts poured into written word - a tug to my heart, a smile to my lips, a tear to my eyes. Nice way to ‘re-set’ at the start of my day. 😉
Good morning. Your post notification came just after my daily Jesus Calling. Imagine being behind on post reading, which in this case gives one the big picture. Your authentic sharing is a gift and goes well beyond most people’s willingness to be vulnerable.
Love the pic of Carley. I will have to send you a picture of my granddog Richie (short for Richmond). He lives in Phoenix with my oldest son where it is just getting more bearable to have your paws on pavement!
Chris- I would suggest a lot of what you are writing is discernment. For me, discernment is an ongoing process to understand if the internal dialogue is ego or Spirit. The good stuff doesn't' come from ego and the bad stuff doesn't come from Spirit. Sometimes, God stealthily shores us up in our greatest challenges, circumventing our self-will unbeknownst to us.
My experience of this was some 5 years ago. My daughter Bridget was in the hospital with an undiagnosed illness. I was driving to the hospital when I got a call from my son-in-law telling me to call when I was coming up to her room.
When he greeted me at the elevator with the doctor, I knew instinctively this was not good. They proceeded to tell me Bridget had pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to the liver. Somewhere in there came the word " terminal"! Since we had been at this for some time, I knew exactly what this meant and as I internalize this information, I waited for the panic to set in.
Guess what, it never did. And for the 4.5 years following it never did. I felt peace and had a strength I know was not my own that enabled me to serve my daughter and family unselfishly for the next number of years when Bridget lost her battle with cancer. That is an allowing and loving God, who doesn't control the world and deny our freewill, but helps us in our challenges, sometimes, fortunately, without our permission.
Ron,
I loved this entire comment. Thank you.
The last line was a lovely jolt. I've been thinking about this a lot recently: That God doesn't really wait for our permission to lavish love on us. This is a relatively new thought.
I had come to believe that God has a huge feast planned for me - a well-set table with fresh cut flowers, course after course of meats and vegetables expertly prepared by Dominique Crenn, fresh crusty bread with butter and jams, and the most lavish, colorful fruits you can imagine. Like oranges flown in all the way from China each day.
In my old belief, these feasts went mostly to waste because I didn't show up. But here is what I believe now.
People show up and eat these feasts, every single night, whether I am there or I am not. And what is left over is carefully and beautifully boxed up in containers that somehow keep the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold and everything as fresh as it was when it was left the kitchen. The flowers are carefully rearranged and, along with the food, delivered to my door with no claim of responsibility. Just an unspeakably beautiful anonymous gift I never asked for. But it arrives nonetheless. Every single day. Whether I let it sit on the porch too long, or carelessly throw it away because I don't think I like carrots. It doesn't matter. The meals just keep showing up.
And on the days I sit down and eat these delicate, expertly prepared feasts in my little kitchen, I am still missing the best part: The company of the host.
While that part is on me, the host doesn't seem all that bothered. He remains ever faithful to deliver, whether I ask or not. Whether I grant permission or I do not. The host's generosity and magnanimity hasn't a thing to do with me.
Oremus,
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Oh, how I love your words and turn of a phrase, but I really love the cool, clear water of this post. And, of course, I love our sweet curly, clumsy, regal Carley! 💙
💙💙💙💙💙💙
Chris - I just loved every word of this. It’s all so simple and yet so difficult for us! Yes to just staying on task - we are beloved and responding accordingly will lead to a peace, joy, and freedom.
I found myself smiling and then smiling more as I continued to read. This drew me in deeply. And I believe with all of heart that God feels the same way.
Me too, Will. Me, too.
Much love, friend.
Ć
Appreciate these thoughts poured into written word - a tug to my heart, a smile to my lips, a tear to my eyes. Nice way to ‘re-set’ at the start of my day. 😉
Jill,
Thank you for this encouragement. It makes me happier and more grateful than you know that you are with me on this walk.😋
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Good morning. Your post notification came just after my daily Jesus Calling. Imagine being behind on post reading, which in this case gives one the big picture. Your authentic sharing is a gift and goes well beyond most people’s willingness to be vulnerable.
Love the pic of Carley. I will have to send you a picture of my granddog Richie (short for Richmond). He lives in Phoenix with my oldest son where it is just getting more bearable to have your paws on pavement!
Good morning!
I so deeply appreciate your comments, Theresa. Thank you!
(And yes, send the Richie photos. Please.)
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