The Butterfly Effect

Picture taken at Fine Creek Brewery last August at Chris’ 59th birthday party.

The live stream for Chris Rhoden’s Celebration of Life is the following:

https://www.youtube.com/@HopeChurchRVA/streams

It will be available starting Friday, May 23rd at 10:50 AM EST

Dear friend,

When I stumbled out of bed yesterday, I smacked into the fragrant lilies at the bottom of the stairs. You’d have a unique combination of flowers on my birthday because frankly, we always have flowers, so you’d tuck a little post-it note of lilies among something unusual, and I’d admire how differently we’d arrange blossoms…..both beautiful, but both indicative of our natures. You’d move fast without fuss while I’d overthink and change button mums four times before stopping…..until the next day when I’d bully a blossom one more time into a new clique.

I found your written words of last year’s birthday poem in a shade of blue-mocha that ended with Eternity. A word wearing a wooly-white-weighted blanket these days which makes it hard to rise in the morning.

But, this isn’t the time for sad stories(even though you loved sad stories) because people look down and start drawing on the ground with their shoe covered toe and wonder when they can comment on my new haircut. And, you always talked about intentionally celebrating another living year with joy.

Can I tell you? In spite of everything, this year was special. Master Sorrow handed off the most delicious coconut cupcakes to Mrs. Joy. Gifts, flowers, dinners, and messages tackled me to the ground. A party happened with our cancer walking sherpas who tied up the celebration in pink and white string. Oh, and then there were spicy margaritas with spicy women. I reminisced about our time at the VMFA when I was swinging an umbrella around fine art and how you nicknamed ME spicy, but secretly you, too, were scruffy around the edges of conformity.

Yesterday, a package from your aunt arrived. It was full of beautifully bedazzled butterflies resting on moss covered rocks representing the scientific butterfly effect and will be on display at your “Passing Party” this Friday. I’ve seen the weather pattern of love blow through our neighborhood with this effect. Our mailbox gorges on sympathy cards, and I find slobbery pools of ink on the concrete below. And, it’s delightful and full of surprises.

I’m offered the tiniest sliver of lemon raspberry cake from each envelope. It’ll be the most eloquent soliloquy from a variety of people who share things I didn’t know. How you helped someone during a difficult time or made a person think about things in a new way. I continue to learn about your relationships and know the rock skipping ripple effect of blue speckled butterflies reaches far and wide.

How do I know about your footprint? An email came in TODAY from one of Abi’s Ohio State friends. It was the most random, and she said as much and couldn’t understand the why of her urging to write but did so anyway. She spoke about her young family and how she was so impacted by your relationship with Abi. Here’s what she said: When I think of the love you had with your daughter, it makes it less scary for me to face the big scary world that exists around me and feel braver to navigate it with my son.

The timing. Little does she know, and I will respond, and I hope she still feels brave. More importantly, I hope she finds deep love in the way people rally and offer and pray and text and call and laugh.

How long and deep and wide will your love grow even while outside of time.

With Dave Matthews I know,

You've given me these loving wings
And angels have all gathered round
to hear me sing my love out loud

Eternity.

Always with,

Kathryn